A child is not only happiness. But also panic. There are always enough reasons for horror, especially among women who first became mothers.
Everyone has heard of postpartum depression. Well, but the term “postpartum chronic anxiety” is not on hearing. But in vain, because she stays with her mother for many years. Mothers worry about everything: they are afraid of sudden infant death syndrome, meningitis, germs, a strange person in the park – they are very frightening, to the point of panic. These fears make it difficult to enjoy life, to enjoy children. People tend to dismiss such a problem – they say, all mothers are worried about their children. But sometimes everything is so serious that you cannot do without the help of a doctor.
Charlotte Andersen, mum of three, has compiled 12 of the most common fears among young mothers. Here’s what she did.
1. It’s scary to leave a child alone in a kindergarten or school
“My biggest horror is leaving Riley at school. These are small fears, for example, of problems with school or with peers. But the real fear is child abduction. I understand that this will most likely never happen to my child. But every time I take her to school, I can’t stop thinking about it. ”- Leah, 26, Denver.
2. What if my anxiety is passed on to the child?
“I’ve lived with anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorder for most of my life, so I know how incredibly painful and debilitating it can be. Sometimes I see my children show the same signs of anxiety that I do. And I’m scared that it was from me that they contracted anxiety ”(Cassie, 31, Sacramento).
3. I panic when kids sleep too long.
“Whenever my children sleep longer than usual, my first thought is: they are dead! Most moms enjoy peace, I understand. But I am always afraid that my child will die in his sleep. I always go to check if everything is okay if children sleep too long during the day or wake up later than usual in the morning ”(Candice, 28, Avrada).
4. I’m afraid to let the child out of sight
“I am terribly afraid when my children play by themselves in the yard or, in principle, disappear from my field of vision. I am afraid that someone might take them away or hurt them, and I will not be there to protect them. Oh, they are 14 and 9, they are not babies! I even signed up for self-defense courses. If I’m confident that I can protect them and myself, maybe I won’t be so afraid ”(Amanda, 32, Houston).
5. I’m afraid he will suffocate
“I am always worried that he might drown. To such an extent that I see the risks of suffocation in everything. I always cut food very finely, always remind him to chew food thoroughly. As if he can forget and start swallowing everything whole. In general, I try to give him solid food less often ”(Lindsay, 32, Columbia).
6. When we part, I am afraid that we will not see each other again.
“Every time my husband and children leave, I am seized with panic – it seems to me that they will have an accident and I will never see them again. I think about what we said goodbye to each other – as if these were our last words. I can even burst into tears. They just went to McDonald’s ”(Maria, 29, Seattle).
7. Feelings of guilt for something that never happened (and probably never will)
“I am constantly itching to think that if I decide to work longer and send my husband and children to have fun themselves, this will be the last time I see them. And I’ll have to live the rest of my life knowing that I preferred work to my family. Then I begin to imagine all sorts of situations in which my children would be in second place. And panic rolls over me that I don’t care enough about the children, I neglect them ”(Emily, 30, Las Vegas).
8. I see germs everywhere
“My twins were born prematurely, so they were especially susceptible to infections. I had to be very vigilant about hygiene – right down to sterility. But now they have grown up, their immunity is in order, I am still afraid. The fear that the children had contracted some kind of terrible disease because of my oversight led to the fact that I was diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder, ”- Selma, Istanbul.
9. I am mortally afraid of walking in the park
“The park is a great place for walking with children. But I am very afraid of them. All these swings … Now my girls are still too young. But they will grow up, they will want to swing. And then I imagine that they swayed too much, and I can only stand and watch them fall ”- Jennifer, 32, Hartford.
10. I always imagine the worst case scenario
“I constantly struggle with the fear of being stuck in a car with my children and of being in a situation where I can save only one person. How could I decide which one to choose? What if I can’t get them both out? I can simulate a lot of such situations. And that fear never lets me go. ”- Courtney, 32, New York.
11. Fear of falling
“We love nature very much, we love to go hiking. But I cannot enjoy my vacation in peace. After all, there are so many places around from where you can fall. After all, there are no those in the forest who will take care of safety measures. When we do go to places where there are rocks, cliffs, I do not take my eyes off the children. And then I have nightmares for several days. I generally forbade my parents to take their children with me to some places where there is a risk of falling from a height. This is very bad. Because my son is now almost as neurotic as I am in this respect ”(Sheila, 38, Leighton).
12. I’m afraid to watch the news
“Several years ago, even before I had children, I saw a story about a family driving a car across a bridge – and the car flew off the bridge. Everyone drowned except the mother. She escaped, but her children were killed. When I gave birth to my first child, this story is all I could think of. I had nightmares. I drove around any bridges. Then we also had children. It turned out that this is not the only story that kills me. Any news, where a child is tortured or killed, plunges me into panic. My husband has banned news channels in our home. ”- Heidi, New Orleans.