6 fasifuaitau e lagolago ai se pele i se taimi faigata

1. «Just know: I’m always there»

I le fa'ailoa manino atu ua e sauni e i ai i so'o se tulaga, o lea ua e tu'uina atu le lagolago. O se tagata mafatia na te iloa le tiga, ma o nisi taimi e mamafa mo isi, lona tulaga, ma amata ona tapunia o ia lava mai tagata. O au upu o le a ia lagona ai le faaitiitia o le tuuatoatasi ma le faaesea.

You can even say nothing — just be there, listen, or just be silent together. Your presence will help a person overcome the internal blockade, will make him feel: he is still loved and accepted.

2. «What can I do to help you?»

O tagata o loʻo feagai ma se faʻafitauli o le mafaufau e masani ona le mafai ona taliina lenei fesili. Ae ui i lea, o au upu o le a fesoasoani i se tasi o loʻo feagai ma se taimi faigata e faʻalogo ai ia te ia lava, i ona manaʻoga.

Even if they answer you that you don’t need anything, believe me — it was very important to hear this question. And if a person decides to tell and you listen to him, it will be a huge help for him.

3. “I really like about you…”

I taimi o le atuatuvale, tatou te le maua ai le mautinoa o le tagata lava ia ma e masani ona faʻaaloalo ia i tatou lava. Ma afai e te faia se faʻafetai, faʻasino atu itu manumalo ma uiga lelei: tofo maʻaleʻale, gauai ma le agalelei, foliga o foliga vaaia, o le a fesoasoani lea ia te oe e amata togafitia oe lava ma sili atu le gauai ma le alofa.

4. «Yes, I also think it’s hard and unfair»

O aafiaga loloto e te toe foi ai faalemafaufau i mea na tutupu i lea taimi ma lea taimi, ma ua amata ona lagona e le siosiomaga ua ia soona fai ma ua oo i le taimi e toso faatasi ai.

I se tulaga o le atuatuvale, e avea tagata ma hypersensitive, ma ina ia mafai e le tagata talanoa ona faatuatuaina oe, e taua le faamanino atu e te faasoa atu ona lagona. E te fa'ailoa mai ua le sa'o le faiga o ia ma o tulaga o lo'o ia feagai ai e faigata. Kafai e lagona ne ia me e talia ne ia ana lagonaga sē ‵lei, kae e se fakailoga tino, ka maua eiloa ne ia te malosi ke gasolo atu ki mua.

5. «I’ll help you find your way out»

Afai e te vaʻai i se tagata ua goto ifo i se faʻanoanoa loloto, o le mea sili e mafai ona e faia o le fesoasoani ia i latou e maua se fesoasoani faʻapolofesa.

Mo le toʻatele o tagata e leʻi oʻo i togafitiga muamua, o le faʻamoemoe e alu i se fomaʻi faʻapitoa e faigata. E mafai ona e faʻafesoʻotaʻi se psychotherapist oe lava ma valaʻaulia se pele e faʻatasi ma ia i le taimi muamua. I se tulaga o le atuatuvale, e masani ona leai se malosi e liliu atu ai i fesoasoani mai fafo, ma o lau lagolago o le a taua tele.

6. “I understand you: it happened to me too”

Afai o oe poʻo se tasi e te vavalalata ia te oe na oʻo i ni faʻalavelave faʻapitoa i le olaga, taʻu mai ia i matou. O lou fa'aalia o le a fesoasoani i le tagata e fa'ailoa atili ai le tautala.

O le tele ma le saʻoloto e tautala e uiga i mea e faʻapuapuagatia ai o ia, i le iloaina o upu e faʻalogoina, o le faʻaitiitia o le le mafaia ma le tuulafoaiina o ia. Ma o le a faasolosolo malie le tulaga o le a amata ona iloa e le o matua leai se faamoemoe.

E uiga i le tusitala: Gene Kim o se polofesa o le mafaufau i le Iunivesite o George Washington.