Mataupu
Christmas: too many presents for our children?
Like every year at Christmas, the French will spend most of their budget on their children. According to a TNS Sofres poll, parents said their toddler would receive an average of 3,6 gifts. In practice, families will organize themselves upstream by creating a complete list with the wishes of the children.“For my part, for my two children, a list is planned. Usually they cut out the catalogs and stick their ideas on a nice piece of paper. that they send to Santa Claus. If the family asks me what would make them happy, I guide them through this list. They receive one gift from each person, ie around 5 to 6 gifts each ”, testifies Juliette, the mother of two children aged 3 and 5. Psychologist Monique de Kermadec confirms that, indeed, at Christmas, the exchange of gifts in families is part of the tradition.“In many families, lists have been adopted to make shopping easier, to be sure to please and not to disappoint”, specifies the psychologist. In some tribes, children end up with fifteen or even twenty gifts.
Gifts by the dozen
In practice, parents let the list go on, without asking too many questions. Children will receive as many gifts as there are people present, or not, on December 24. “My son receives between 15 and 20 gifts, especially when his grandparents come for the occasion. Afterwards, the gifts received at Christmas serve him all year round. Moreover, he discovers new toys months after December 25, ”explains Eve, mother of a 5 and a half year old boy. Same story for Pierre, father of a little Amandine, 3 years old. “With the mother, we work by list for Christmas. We pass on to family members on both sides, which we think our daughter wants. And it’s true, she ends up with about fifteen gifts on Christmas Eve, usually one per person. It’s like that. She focuses on a toy, not necessarily the biggest one, for the first few days. During the Christmas holidays, we encourage him to play with all the toys ”.
For Monique de Kermadec, psychologist, the main thing is to give pleasure without counting. “There can be no hard and fast rule. Some families are more numerous than others, some have a larger budget, ”she explains. Some moms even choose to publish the gift list on a website participatory. “I made a list on the mesenvies.com site for my two little ones. Then, each member of the family chooses one or more gifts, so that they are sure to aim right and there is something for everyone. The list updates progressively. But of course they are very spoiled! », Explains Claire, a mom on Facebook.
Why these mountains of gifts?
“It seems difficult to give a reasonable number of gifts per child,” says Monique de Kermadec. Nevertheless, she points to the overabundance of gifts.“Parents by doing this seem to want to show the extent of their love. The child associates the gift, the material purchase with the marks of affection », fa'amaonia mai le foma'i mafaufau. “It is important that the parent explains to the child that the number of gifts and the price are not tangible proof of their love. Each family has its traditions and its own means. Parents should insist onthe importance of love, the presence of the family and the moments shared together », explains the specialist. It is also the analysis of another mother, Geraldine, who above all wants her children to receive surprises and that they take into account the value of things. “I have two daughters aged 8 and 11. Both make a great list for Santa Claus. We read it together and I allow myself orally to make a first selection, by saying that, “maybe”, Santa will not be able to bring so many gifts. With my husband, we take the list into account and at the same time we give gifts that are not on it. These surprises must please them. Plus, we want them to understand the value of things and we don’t want them to be rotten spoiled. We want them to enjoy every gift and play it as much as possible ”, details the mother.
This is also the opinion of the psychologist: « Faalogo i lau tama during the year, the months preceding the holidays. Write down what he seems to want, without rushing to buy it. Always be reasonable and take the family budget into account », She specifies. She recommends choosing small touches or trinkets, to complete a larger gift.
“Each family has its traditions and its own means. Parents should insist on the importance of love, the presence of family and the moments shared together », Explains Monique de Kermadec, child psychologist.
Pass on the tradition
To make your child understand that Christmas is not just a time to buy excessively, it is important to prepare certain little things with him that will make him happy. “Make decorations for the Christmas tree with the youngest, presents for grandma or aunt Isabelle, bake cookies or cakes. Involve them as soon as you can and convey to them the notion of giving and caring for others, ”advises the specialist. The psychologist adds that parents can “ask the child to choose a small gift that will be given to a poor child. This can be chosen from old toys that have been divested but in good condition, or taken from the gifts received ”.
La faitauis another privileged moment where we can talk about what we are going to offer for Christmas. “Parents can use stories or tales to convey essential messages, but also to convey the magic of festive moments and family reunions for their child ”, concludes Monique de Kermadec.