My child no longer believes in Santa Claus, how to react?
Almost 80% of children aged 2 to 9 believe in Santa Claus, according to the FCPE *. But after years of magic, the myth collapses. Disappointed, betrayed, toddlers can blame their parents for this “lie” about the existence of the big man with the white beard. How to find the right words? Stéphane Clerget, child psychiatrist, enlightens us …
At what age, on average, does a child stop believing in Santa Claus?
Stéphane Clerget: In general, children start not believing in it around the age of 6, which corresponds to the CP cycle. This development is part of their cognitive development. As they grow up, they become more part of reality and less of the magical spirit. Their capacity for reasoning becomes more important. Not to mention that there is also school and discussions with friends …
Should we make children believe that Santa Claus exists?
SC: It is not something that is imposed, some religions not adhering to it. This belief is simply part of social myth. However, she has an interest in the child. By believing in this, toddlers perceive that there are other benefactors besides parents who are there for them.
How to react the day when our child announces to us that he no longer believes in Santa Claus? What explanations to give him in the face of possible reproaches?
SC: You have to explain to him that this is a story that has been told to children for a very long time. Tell him that this is not a lie, but a story that you yourself believed, and that this myth helps to accompany the dreams of the little ones.
It is also important to congratulate your child for understanding that this was a story, and to tell him that he is now grown up.
If a child simply has doubts, should they be told the truth or try to maintain that belief?
SC: If he only has doubts, the child must be accompanied in his reflection. It is important not to go against your doubts, without adding more.
You should also know that some children are afraid of displeasing their parents and making them sad if they no longer believe in them. Then tell them that Santa Claus exists for those who believe in him.
How to preserve the magic of the holidays when your child no longer believes in Santa Claus? Should we continue the ritual of gifts under the tree or take him to choose his toys?
SC: A child who no longer believes in it doesn’t want to give up Christmas rituals. It is therefore important to continue them. The store manager should absolutely not replace Santa Claus. In addition, to keep the dimension of wonder, it is good to offer a gift desired by the child, and always a surprise toy.
How to deal with the situation if there are other little brothers and sisters who still believe in Santa Claus?
SC: The older one must respect the beliefs of his brothers and sisters. We must explain to him that he must not go against their thoughts and dreams.
* Federation of shops specializing in children’s toys and products