6 Auala e Sao ai i Aso malolo pe a e le fa'alavelave ma matua o lau paaga

E te mafaufau i le asiasiga a matua o lau paaga ma le fefe? Pe o le a toe faaleagaina ea aso malolo? I se tulaga tele e faalagolago ia te oe. O nisi nei o fautuaga mai foma'i aiga.

1. Ia folafola atu ia te oe lava o le a e taumafai e faaleleia le mafutaga.

It is not necessary to promise yourself something only on the eve of the New Year. Together with your life partner, you have chosen his parents, and you will not get rid of them, except perhaps after a divorce. Try not to complain every time you visit your mother-in-law or mother-in-law, but get along with them during this year. You have many years ahead of you, so it doesn’t have to be perfect the first time. Start with a small step, like «I won’t mention Uncle Husband’s drinking this year.» Over time, you will find that communicating with your spouse’s parents is no longer so burdensome for you. ― Aaron Anderson, family therapist.

2. Talanoa sa'o ma lau paga muamua

Aua le natia lou fefe ma popolega! Talanoa i lou toʻalua pe faʻapefea ona e manatu o le a alu le fonotaga ma matua. Ae aua e te talanoa e uiga i ou uiga le lelei ia i latou. Ta'u mea o lo'o fa'alavelave ia te oe ma ole atu mo se fesoasoani. Fa'amatala tonu mea e te mana'omia. Mo se faʻataʻitaʻiga, fai atu ia te ia e lagolago atili pe sili atu ona auai i le sauniuni mo se faʻamanatuga faaleaiga. Mafaufau i lenei talanoaga ma iloilo ou popolega. ― Marnie Fuerman, fomaʻi aiga.

3. Faaetete lou tagata

O se tasi o mafuaaga autu tatou te le onosaʻi ai i malo o le manaʻoga ia faʻafiafiaina i latou. I taimi o feiloaʻiga ma uō po o, aemaise lava o tauaiga, e masani ona lē amanaʻia e se tasi ona lava manaʻoga ona o le faamāfanafanaina o se isi. O se taunuuga, ua na ona galo ia i tatou lava. Ma e ui atonu e foliga mai e leai se taimi e te tausia ai oe lava, o le auala sili lea e taulimaina ai le atuatuvale ma osofaʻiga o avanoa patino.

Tausia lou soifua maloloina, taele malolo, alu vave moe, faitau i se mea filemu. Fa'alogo i lou tino ma taumafai e fa'alogo atili i ou mana'oga. ― Alisha Clark, fomaʻi mafaufau.

4. Galulue faatasi ma se paaga

In a marriage, there are often tensions with your spouse’s parents, and sometimes you begin to doubt whose side he is on. Both of you have been members of another family for a long time, with your own holiday traditions and customs. The struggle for influence between the partner’s parents and his other half can flare up in earnest, because both «parties» want to attract him to them during the holidays. Teaming up with a partner is one way to end this fight. Then you will support each other, not your parents.

But you have to stand firm and stand up for your partner. This approach may seem harsh, but slowly the parents will adapt to the situation and understand that the joint decision of the spouses is always at the forefront. Remember which side you are on. You are first a husband, and only then — a son or daughter. ― Danielle Kepler, psychotherapist.

5. Faapotopoto lou lototele a o lei faia le sauniga

Before meeting your partner’s parents, do one mental exercise. Imagine that you are wearing special armor that protects against any negative energy. Say to yourself: «I am safe and protected, I am safe.» On the spot, be as polite and charming as possible. Keep a positive attitude and act at ease. There is no point in wasting precious time regretting things you cannot control. ― Becky Whetstone, family therapist.

6. Manatua: E le tumau

I aso malolo, e le mago le tafe o faatasiga ma asiasiga faaleaiga. O aso malolo o le a maeʻa, o le ae toe foʻi i le fale ma mafai ona faʻagaloina uma faʻalavelave. E leai se manaʻoga e mafaufau i le le lelei: o le a naʻo le faʻaopopoina o faʻafitauli ma e mafai ona avea ma mafuaʻaga o misa ma se paaga. Aua nei faatagaina matua o lou toalua e faaleagaina lou olaga ma aafia ai la oulua mafutaga. ― Aaron Anderson, fomaʻi aiga.