Mataupu
Perhaps every couple dreams of a healthy and happy relationship. But why are some alliances able to overcome any difficulties, while others fall apart at the first encounter with obstacles? The chances of a long-lasting marriage are greatly increased if both spouses have certain qualities, says coach and consultant in personal development and the art of relationships Keith Dent.
If you have read many books and articles about relationships, you have probably noticed that there are two opposing points of view on the question of choosing a partner. Some experts assure that “opposites attract”, others that, on the contrary, it is worth looking for a person who is as similar to us as possible.
“But the truth is, whether your personality matches or doesn’t really matter that much,” says coach Keith Dent. Any family life is full of difficulties, and love is not the only thing that maintains a healthy relationship. “In some families, partners are similar in character, in others they are not at all similar to each other. From my own experience I can say: both of them can live together happily ever after.
What is really important is that partners have certain qualities.
1. The ability to accept without judgment
It is extremely important to be able to understand and accept a partner with all his features, including not the most pleasant ones.
If you try to remake your life partner, your marriage will begin to break down. It is no coincidence that you once chose this particular person with all his shortcomings. In addition, no one likes to listen to criticism, and some even take it as a personal insult.
2. Loyalty to partner
Loyalty is a sign of a strong emotional connection between you. It is important that you want to save the marriage — not out of a sense of duty, but because you are one team and are determined to do everything possible to stay together.
3. Faalagolago
Have you ever met a happy couple in which one partner would make all the decisions for both? That doesn’t happen. Each of the spouses must be sure that the partner will support him in any situation and will always respect his thoughts, opinions and feelings. For this, trust and the ability to listen to others are important.
4.Honesty
It is extremely important to be able to speak openly about your experiences. Often we are cunning or hide our true feelings, because, knowing a partner, we understand that our opinion or advice will be met with disapproval. In such situations, do not lie or hide something, try to find a way to say what you think, but in a form that your spouse will perceive.
5. Ability to forgive
In any relationship, mutual misunderstanding, mistakes, quarrels, disagreements are inevitable. If spouses do not know how to forgive each other, the marriage will not last long.
6. Ability to appreciate
It is important to be able to appreciate everything that a loved one gives you, without taking it for granted, and develop a sense of gratitude in yourself.
7. Uiga malie
It’s always good to be able to laugh at your differences and disagreements. A good sense of humor helps maintain mutual interest and defuse tense situations in time. It is especially important for getting through difficult periods in a relationship.
About the author: Keith Dent is a coach, personal development and relationship arts consultant.