Tagata e le mana'o i feusua'iga

Sexologists ma psychotherapists o loʻo faʻateleina faʻalogo mai tamaloloa faitioga e uiga i le leai o se manaʻoga. “E toʻatele foʻi tagata talavou i totonu o i latou, e lē oo i le tolu sefulu tausaga,” o le tala lea a le tagata suʻesuʻe o le mafaufau o le aiga o Inna Shifanova. "E leai ni a latou faʻafitauli faʻaletino, ae e leai foi ni a latou faʻaosofia: latou te le popole i se paaga patino poʻo soʻo se paaga." O fea e sau ai lenei faʻaitiitia o le fiafia i feusuaiga, o fea e sau ai tamaloloa e le manaʻo i feusuaiga?

Taofi le manao

“Feeling attracted to a woman, I foresee trouble in advance,” admits 43-year-old Mikhail. “My biggest fear is losing control of myself. This has happened before, and every time I made mistakes that cost me too much. The desire to avoid undesirable consequences, such as dependence on a partner, loss of independence, the risk of being a victim of emotional blackmail («there will be no sex until I receive a gift») — all this can force one to refuse intimate relationships. This does not mean that a man has no sexual desire.

“E mou atu i lalo o le aafiaga o ni faaletonu ogaoga o le hormonal,” o le faamamafa lea a Yuri Prokopenko, le tagata suʻesuʻe i feusuaiga. "Ae ui i lea, o le tosina atu e mafai ona taofia." E le pei o manu, e mafai e tagata ona pulea o latou lagona. O lea la, e mafai ona tatou filifili e lafoaʻia fiafiaga o le tino i le igoa o se manatu.

“O i latou na tausia aʻe i le agaga o amioga maumauaʻi e ono manatu i feusuaʻiga o se mea taufaamataʻu, “sese,” o le faaopoopo mai lea a le tagata suʻesuʻe i feusuaʻiga o Irina Panyukova. “Ona iloilo ai lea e sea tagata le atoatoa po o se vaega o le le atoatoa o se amio “lelei”.

Fefe i le toilalo

Ua mou atu aso ua na o le fiafia o alii e taua i feusuaiga. I aso nei, ua iloa e le tane o lona tiute o le tausia lea o se fafine. O ai e talitonu i nisi taimi faapea, faatasi ai ma le aia tatau i le fiafia, ua latou maua le aia tatau e faitio ai, o nisi taimi e matua leaga lava. O na faamatalaga e mafai ona oti i manaoga o alii. Ua faapea mai Irina Panyukova, o se tagata suʻesuʻe tau feusuaʻiga Irina Panyukova: “O faitioga tau feusuaʻiga e lē mafai ona aveesea, o le a ia manatua pea i lona olaga atoa.

Fai mai Yuri Prokopenko, “O nisi taimi ou te faalogo ai i fafine: “E na te leʻi faia mai iā te aʻu se onosaʻi,” o le tala lea a Yuri Prokopenko, “e peiseaʻī e nana o ia e lana paaga ma e lē faasoa. Ae e taua le malamalama saʻo i le tutusa o itupa: e le mafai ona tuʻuina atu uma le matafaioi mo le fiafia i se ulugalii i luga o le tasi o paaga. E tatau i tagata taitoatasi ona aoao e tausia o ia lava, faatulaga ma taiala le isi pe a tatau ai.”

Fa'atonu tulaga fa'atauaina o tama'ita'i

O faʻalavelave faʻaagafesootai natia e mafua ai foi ona tuʻuaʻia le faʻaitiitia o manaʻoga o tama, fai mai le tagata suʻesuʻe o le mafaufau Helen Vecchiali.

“E faaeaina e le sosaiete le tulaga faatamaitai ma uiga “fafine”: agamalu, loto gatasi, le manao e talanoaina mea uma … o lana tala lea. "E manaʻomia e alii le atinaʻeina o nei uiga ia i latou lava - e pei o mea uma e "saʻo" i fafine, ma mea uma e sese i alii!" Pe faigofie ea ona tumau pea i se tane pe a vaai atu le uiga o le tane e mataʻutia, sauā, sauā? E faʻafefea ona faʻaalia le manaʻo i upu e le masani ai le failauga? Ma a uma mea uma, e le manuia tamaitai mai sea faʻatauvaʻa o tulaga tau tama.

"E tatau ona latou faamemelo i se tamaloa ina ia alofa ia te ia," o le tala lea a le psychoanalyst. Ma e manaʻomia ona manaʻomia. E foliga mai o fafine e leiloa i itu uma e lua: latou te nonofo ma alii e le o toe faʻaaloalo ma e le toe manaʻo ia i latou.

Sese tagata matau

Sometimes the conclusion that the desire is gone is made by one or both of the partners, not on the basis of facts, but on the basis of assumptions about how «it should be.» “For a year, my friend and I met once a week, and I heard only the most flattering compliments from her,” Pavel, 34, shares his story. “However, as soon as we started living together, I felt her growing discontent and could not understand the reasons until she frankly asked why we had so little sex. But it was no less than before! It turned out that she expected that when living together, every night would be as passionate as during the brief meetings. Unwittingly, I disappointed her and felt terrible.”

“The notion that a man wants sex all the time and is ready for it whenever, as much as he wants, and with anyone, turns out to be either a myth or a delusion based on the fact that the particular is taken as a general rule. By nature, men have different needs for sex, — continues Yuri Prokopenko. — During the period of falling in love, it increases, but then returns to the usual level. And attempts to artificially increase sexual activity are fraught with health problems, such as heart problems. It is also important to remember that sexual desire decreases with age, and not to demand from yourself or your partner the previous “records”.

E tuuaia ea ponokalafi?

E 'ese'ese manatu o tagata popoto pe fa'afefea ona a'afia mana'oga tama a le maua o porn ma mea fa'atauva'a. E talitonu le tagata suʻesuʻe o le mafaufau o Jacques Aren e faapea “e iai se faamalieina patino o feusuaʻiga e faatumulia ai mea uma o loo siomia ai. Ae o le manao e fafagaina i taimi uma i le leai o se mea tatou te mananao ai. I le taimi lava e tasi, na ia faamamafaina e faapea mo tupulaga laiti, o le leai o se manaʻoga e le o lona uiga o le leai o ni feusuaiga: o nei mafutaga e na o le le aofia ai o lagona, avea ma "faʻapitoa".

And Yuri Prokopenko believes that pornography does not reduce desire: «Sexual desire is comparable to hunger: it cannot be quenched by watching others eat.» However, in his opinion, the habit of pornography can affect the degree of satisfaction: “Video lovers may lack visual stimulation, because during real sexual intercourse we do not so much look as we feel, feel, act.” You can make up for this lack with the help of mirrors, and some couples use video equipment to watch themselves from the side, feeling like a creative team of their own erotic film.

Siaki hormones

I le tulaga o le leiloa o le manaʻo, o alii e sili atu i le 50 e tatau ona feutagai ma fomaʻi, o le fautuaga a le andrologist Ronald Virag. O le tosina e fesoʻotaʻi ma le maualuga o le testosterone. O lona anotusi i totonu o le toto e mai le 3 i le 12 nanograms i le mililita. Afai e pa'ū i lalo o lenei tulaga, o loʻo i ai se faʻaitiitia o le manaʻoga. O isi mea olaola e iai foi sona sao, aemaise o hormones o le pituitary ma le hypothalamus, faʻapea foʻi ma neurotransmitters (dopamines, endorphins, oxytocin). E le gata i lea, o nisi vailaʻau e taofia ai le gaosiga o le testosterone. I ia tulaga, e mafai ona faatonuina hormones.

Ua faamanino mai e Yuri Prokopenko: "Ae ui i lea, ina ia faʻaitiitia le manaʻo e mafua tonu ona o mafuaʻaga o le hormonal, e tatau ona matua ogaoga (mo se faʻataʻitaʻiga, castration (e aofia ai le ava malosi). o latou fesuiaiga masani i le lumanaʻi e toetoe lava a le afaina ai le libido.

Tele omiga

“Pe a liliu mai se tamaloa ia te aʻu e uiga i le leai o se manaʻoga, e masani ona foliga mai o loʻo i ai ni faigata ... i le galuega," o le tala lea a Inna Shifanova. "O le leiloa o le talitonuina o tomai faʻapolofesa, ua amata ona ia masalosalo i isi ona tomai." O tu'inanau fa'afeusuaiga ua na'o se tasi o itu o lo tatou tu'inanau ma le mana'o lautele. O lona toesea e mafai ona tusia i le tulaga o le atuatuvale: o se tamaloa e le toe manaʻo e fai feusuaʻiga, ae na te le toe manaʻo i se isi mea.

Jacques Aren describes the “old tired man syndrome”: “He has a lot of work, children who tire him, problems associated with the “wear and tear” of married life, he is afraid of aging and a decline in vitality, and it is not so easy to give him new strength. to your desire.» Refuse criticism, support — that’s what a woman can do for him. However, it is necessary to discuss the partner’s difficulties with caution, protecting his self-esteem and remembering that “talking on problematic topics can cause concern and anxiety. These feelings lead away from bodily desires,” emphasizes Irina Panyukova. So do not start such a conversation before physical intimacy.

Laa atu le tasi i le isi?

E faʻafefea ona faʻafetaui manaʻoga fafine ma tama? “O le gaoioi,” o le tali lea a Helen Vecchiali, “i le taliaina o le mea moni ua suia mea. Ua tatou ola i se vaitaimi o suiga o matafaioi, ma ua tuai tele ona salamo i taimi faapeteriaka. Ua oo i le taimi mo tamaitai e taofi ai le manaʻomia o mea uma mai alii i le taimi e tasi. Ma o le a aoga mo alii e faʻamalosi: ua suia fafine, ma i aso nei latou te iloa le mea latou te mananaʻo ai. I lenei tulaga, e tatau i tagata ona ave se faʻataʻitaʻiga mai ia i latou ma faʻaalia o latou lava manaʻoga.