Mataupu
Le mafaufau o le le fanau mai: 4 mafuaʻaga e leai ai se maʻitaga, ma le mea e fai
If a married couple has been dreaming of a child for more than a year, and doctors only shrug their shoulders, the reason for the absence of pregnancy is probably in the head of future parents.
The diagnosis of “infertility” in our country is made in the absence of pregnancy after a year of active sex life without contraception. According to statistics, in Russia this diagnosis is in 6 million women and 4 million men.
– It would seem that modern medicine has reached such a level that the problem of infertility should be a thing of the past. But a person is not only a body, but also a psyche, subtly connected with each organ, – say psychotherapists Dina Rumyantseva and Marat Nurullin, authors of the psychological infertility treatment program. – Moreover, according to statistics, 5-10% of women are diagnosed with idiopathic infertility, that is, the absence of health reasons.
There are several psychological blocks that a woman cannot cope with on her own, even if she is physically healthy or safely undergoing treatment by a gynecologist. Secret motives are hidden very deeply and, as a rule, are not even realized.
If doctors shrug their shoulders and do not see the reason, you may have at least one of these factors.
Fear of childbirth. If a woman is afraid of pain in panic, then the brain, reacting to this fear, does not allow conception. This psychological feature is associated with previous illnesses, injuries and operations. In this case, it is important to realize that labor pain is physiological, it will quickly be forgotten when everything is over.
Fear of parenting. As a rule, behind this fear lies a repressed reluctance of a woman to acquire offspring, since she does not feel ready to become a mother. The roots lie in her own family. By working through childhood traumas at an early age, revisiting attitudes about what it means to be a mom, and the fear will go away.
Uncertainty in a partner. Constant neurosis in a relationship is an undoubted block to childbirth. If a woman constantly blames her partner for the unproductiveness of the relationship due to the fact that she does not receive positive results from the union or from mistrust, then general anxiety must be removed. In this case, the woman needs to make a firm decision: does she really want a child from a man she cannot rely on.
Matata. Sterility in a woman may indicate that, despite external declarations, in reality she does not want or is afraid to drop out of the work routine so as not to lose a good position or the opportunity for further advancement. This phenomenon even has a name – career infertility. A conscious attitude to one’s own life priorities can get things moving.
What if you recognized yourself on this list?
Seek help from a psychologist. It is difficult to compile a complete catalog of female phobias that interfere with conception. In addition, it can be either one or several, as layered one on top of the other. Therefore, the task of the psychotherapist is to work out negative attitudes and gradually reach the grain of the problem.
– With the help of our developments, which were formed on the basis of the best achievements of world reproductive medicine, it is possible to solve the problems of dysfunction sometimes in three, and sometimes in ten sessions. As a rule, pregnancy usually occurs within a year from the start of work. For ten years of our practice in the Kazan psychological center “White Room” 70% of couples who applied for help became parents, ”says Marat Nurullin. – We carefully use all layers of the human psyche and synchronize them. As a result, the diagnosis of “idiopathic infertility” is removed.
Can you handle it yourself?
Perhaps the main recommendation, if everything is good from a medical point of view, and pregnancy does not occur, is to stop feeling like a victim of circumstances. A woman, without even suspecting, on a subconscious level gives an installation to the body: no need, wait a little, not worth it, the wrong person, the wrong moment. It is very difficult to independently mount in the head the desire to have a child and the unwillingness to change oneself and life. Therefore, it is psychological assistance that can resolve this paradoxical situation.
And the first step in working on yourself can be the disclosure of your own femininity. Work through the fear of being bad in general, in any role. Believe in the thought: “I am the best parent for my own child, the best for me.” Working through painful situations from childhood also provides a huge resource, opens up support from a partner, friends and relatives. And although these are only isolated fragments, they can form the basis of a full-fledged story about the birth of a new person.