Mataupu
You look at happy lovers and wonder: what do they know that you don’t know? The therapist identified 11 principles that distinguish happy couples from unhappy ones. Memorize them and put them into practice. Simple rules will help strengthen the union and increase relationship satisfaction.
There is no ideal relationship, each couple has its own problems. While the relationship of some flourishes, others hang on the edge of the abyss. Happiness in a relationship does not happen by chance. Happy couples cultivate their love wisely, and their relationships become strong and healthy through a series of habits.
1. Show that you appreciate each other
Healthy relationships are based on positive emotions, intimacy and affection. Happy couples try to emphasize the importance of their other half every day. You don’t need anything fancy, be sincere.
Leave your partner a note of thanks, send a message, remind them that you think of him. Do what he or she appreciates. Couples often complain that partners do not feel that the other half appreciates them. Feeling important and important is a normal human need. A daily expression of gratitude satisfies her perfectly.
2. Quarrel properly
Every couple faces problems, quarrels and differences of opinion. If you often argue, it does not mean that you have a bad relationship. What matters is how you deal with these situations. Fighting the right way means avoiding criticism, insults, defensiveness, and being ignored. This behavior reduces the strength of the relationship.
3. Ask for what you need
I constantly hear from clients: “If he loved me, he would know what I need. I wouldn’t have to ask. He needs to know what he did wrong.» The man can’t read minds. He has a different experience and expectations. Your job is to talk about your feelings and needs. Sometimes you have to do this several times. Happy couples don’t build relationships on speculation. Instead, partners ask each other what they need and do it, openly discuss differences and respect them.
4. Express love in your partner’s language
Everyone gives and receives love in their own way. What matters is what works for you and your man. Most likely, you have different needs, this is normal. There are five love languages: gifts, alone time, words, help, and physical contact. In happy couples, partners understand how the other half gives and receives love. It helps maintain warmth, affection, and reciprocity in relationships.
5. Fai faatasi mea
Sharing household chores is one of the most common causes of disagreement in relationships. Happy couples do work together. Even if they don’t like it, they still do it.
Perhaps one does not like washing dishes, and another does not like making the bed. Discuss how best to divide the responsibilities, and then get to work. A fair division of responsibilities builds trust and intimacy in a couple.
6. Don’t neglect hugs
Communication is an important element of a relationship, but partners often forget about the importance of hugs. Touch releases oxytocin. It is also called the «love hormone» because it plays a huge role in relationships, relieves emotional and physical pain, strengthens the immune system and brings partners together. Couples take the time to express their love in this way, even when they are busy or tired.
7. Discuss problems
There are two options: avoid the problem and hope it goes away, or face it. When we avoid problems, they grow and seep into our lives in other ways. Happy couples discuss problems and look for concrete solutions.
8. Fa'aaloalo i tuaoi
Happiness in a couple is impossible without respect for personal boundaries. Boundaries define where your personality ends and your man’s personality begins. Happy couples discuss the topic openly and respect each other’s boundaries. So everyone satisfies their needs and feels comfortable in a relationship.
9. Ask for forgiveness and forgive
Relationships will not survive without forgiveness. You need to learn to ask for forgiveness and forgive — this is an important element for peaceful coexistence and strong relationships. An apology is a sincere attempt to work on a problem as a team and then forget the unfortunate event. In a healthy relationship, partners strive to be happy, not to prove right.
10. Spend time apart
Combine intimacy and independence in relationships. Light does not converge like a wedge on a partner, there is life outside of relationships too. Partners must respect each other’s needs for both intimacy and independence. This determines the level of relationship satisfaction. If you can enjoy life without a partner, then there is trust and healthy affection in the relationship.
11. Ole atu mo se fesoasoani
Couples in healthy relationships are willing to seek help if they can’t handle problems on their own. A visit to a psychotherapist, attending family seminars, or talking with a loved one who is ready to share an objective opinion can help.