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Eduardo Llamazares: "Matou te fai ma vaisu i le mafaufau ona matou te fefefe e fai"
Mind
Own experience has led to Eduardo Llamazares to write a self-help book, «Mind, let me live!»That serves those whose thoughts prevent them from leading a satisfying life. Doctor in Physiotherapy and «coach», Llamazares has prepared the manual with the essential ingredients for get rid of the power of the mind, on many occasions harmful. Your knowledge and aafiaga faaletagata lava ia They have provided the keys to re-educate the mind and enjoy without the suffering generated by learned patterns that do not help us at all.
Why do we suffer so much and our mind does not let us advance?
We think that we are like that and that it is something that we cannot change because it is our personality. Neuroscience has shown us that our brain has the ability to modify itself and that allows us to see ourselves in a different way and to do different things: to be less perfectionists, to give less value to the opinion of others … Leaving the comfort zone is difficult but it is something that produces us many benefits. The stress that we cause ourselves is responsible for diseases such as irritable bowel, anxiety, dermatitis, insomnia …
Does what we think define us?
We do not make decisions freely. We do not decide what we think or what we do from freedom, but we do it from a mind conditioned by the subconscious and factors that we do not know. Certain moments of our childhood are conditioning us because they are situations that were recorded long ago in our minds: bullying, a toxic relationship, a demanding family member …
There are resounding factors that abruptly change our way of thinking
There are people who change their thoughts when something important happens to them: an accident, an illness, a loss… They change their values and begin to see life differently, demanding less of themselves, taking care of themselves more… And all thanks to a very serious event. Why does something like this have to happen in our life to change our mentality? The mind can do us a lot of harm.
Does giving importance to things that have not happened define our fears?
Effectively. Our mind uses the imagination to create scenarios that we do not like, a way to prevent ourselves and the basis of anxiety. We suffer uselessly for things that may never happen. But our mind, from childhood, learned that we had to control everything. We decided to learn to create suffering in advance. Our mind does not distinguish reality from what does not happen and that is why anxiety arises. We live from fear and that generates stress because we think that we will not know how to manage what comes our way in the future when in reality we have the resources to face it. Fear exhausts us, we are in tension, we sleep fewer hours, it affects our immune system … We have become addicted to thinking because we are afraid to act.
It is anticipating and trying to assimilate with time something that may or may not happen
That is, and what is achieved with this is to avoid making decisions. Instead of carrying out acts or conversations with a certain person, taking the reins, we keep turning our minds and we continue with that fear. We are not doing anything to change it. The solution? Detect this way of seeing life and innovate. Begin to act with small steps to see what happens and our mind will assimilate that we can show ourselves as we are.
Why do we feel guilty about others?
They are learned patterns that come from childhood. Generally, in childhood, we did not enhance our authenticity or develop our personality. It was intended that we fit into a mold: get good grades, be the best in the class … We have been educated a lot from the comparison and we have learned that we need to meet the expectations of others and feel responsible for what happens to others when it really is something that depends on many factors and not on us.
The big problem with very mental people is that they focus on others and not on themselves. We are concerned about what others think of us, and we do not consider it so important to feel comfortable with what we do or with who we are. We give great importance to the opinion of others and not to what we need to feel good.
Does criticism take us away from well-being?
We are reinforcing our mind to look for the negative in other people and inevitably also look for our negative. We are generating a toxicity of constantly seeing the bad. Our environment influences us and makes our mind think in one way or another because it is reinforced in certain behaviors. We forget that there are wonderful things in that person or situation and we have to compensate by always looking for something positive. How long toxicity are you willing to let into your mind?
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Find out which people, situations and groups incite you to criticism. Decide to change your attitude, not to feed those criticisms or directly not to expose yourself to those circumstances. Train yourself to detect which situations have this “destructive force” and decide to replace them with other situations, people, readings or videos with “constructive force”.
Does what we think of others define us?
We are used to seeing our defects and seeing them in other people makes a mirror effect. We tend to see in others things that even we do not have or fail us. If it bothers you that a person is very happy, for example, it may be because it is difficult for you to be and show it.
Does forgiving and asking for forgiveness free our minds?
“Do the thoughts I am having help me feel peace?” If you answer that question, you will have much clearer your goal in life. It is keeping your mind anchored to the past. Here are the problems of society: depression on the one hand and anxiety on the other. On the one hand, we are a lot in the past: bullying, family anger, and we are also constantly thinking about the future, which causes us stress. Detachment is a wonderful thing that we can practice, letting go of things from the past and deciding how we want to feel from now on with what we have learned from experience. It is choosing between your well-being or focusing on something that you no longer have control over.