Mataupu
- Aisea ua tiga ai le tamaitiiti?
- Auala e tali atu ai i le taufaifai
- 1. Aua e te le amanaiaina lagona o lau tama
- 2. Faamatala i lau tama pe aisea ua e faia ai lenei mea.
- 3. Fautua se fofo o le faafitauli mo le lumanaʻi poʻo le faia o se fofo ma lau tama
- 4. Tuu atu i lau tama se taimi e talia ai le tulaga, ia oo i le faanoanoa, lafoai le ita
- 5. A'oa'o lau tama e talanoa e uiga i ona aafiaga
The child was offended. What to do? Often parents feel helpless, try to appease or intimidate him, just to stop being offended. But are they doing the right thing? What is child abuse and how to deal with it?
E fitu tausaga e le'i toe talanoa Kristina i lona tina. Ua nofonofo le gaioi, fa'amata'u, tilotilo i se tasi itu. Sa tiga o ia. E le mafai e le teine ona ofuina lana ofu e sili ona fiafia i ai, o loʻo i totonu o le taele.
Five-year-old Artem asks to stay on the playground. He sits down, hides his face, puffs out his cheeks and cries: «I’m not going anywhere.» So Artem is offended. He was offended that it was time to leave the site on which he likes.
Every parent faces childhood abuse. How to react? Let the child put on a dirty dress or insist on his own? Stay on the set and miss a doctor’s appointment? Before answering these questions, let’s look at what resentment is and why it occurs in a child.
Aisea ua tiga ai le tamaitiiti?
Resentment is an expression of anger, indignation at unfair treatment from the point of view of the child. It arises in the address of parents, friends, people with whom valuable relationships are formed. Strangers are not offended. Thus, there is love in resentment. So the child says: “You are doing me wrong. I feel bad. Change your behavior.»
E i ai taimi e matua le tonu ai le amio a se tagata matua. Mo se faʻataʻitaʻiga, o se tamaititi i luga o se scooter na alu i luga o le auala. Na fefe le matua, otegia le tamaitiiti ma faatiga ia te ia i le vevela o le taimi. I se tulaga e te lagona ai le tausalaina, faatoese atu. Ae o le tele o taimi, e tiga ai fanau pe a lē tuuaʻia o latou mātua. O lea sa i ai tulaga: o le ofu sa i le taele, o le taimi mo se savaliga ua uma.
Pe a faatiga se tamaitiiti, e taumafai nisi tagata matutua e faatoafilemu o ia, tuu atu, ofoina atu se mea e faamafanafana ai o ia. “E le mafai ona matou nonofo i le malae taalo. Ae a uma le fomai, o le a ou faatau sau meataalo,” o le tala lea a le tina i lana tama. O isi matua e feita, otegia le tamaitiiti, fai atu e taofi le faitio. O ia, ua fefe, ua aoao e nana ona lagona.
Auala e tali atu ai i le taufaifai
It is unpleasant to experience resentment both for the child and for the parent who is nearby. All feelings are necessary: they help us to understand desires and satisfy them. Therefore, it is important to teach the child to understand their feelings and express them constructively.
1. Aua e te le amanaiaina lagona o lau tama
Explain to him what is happening to him. This is necessary so that the child learns to recognize his feelings. «You’re offended because I can’t give you your favorite dress.» Or “You were offended by me because you have to leave the site.” This will not change the behavior of the child. He will still be offended. But he will see that he is understood and accepted in this state.
O le a ia aʻoaʻoina e iloa ona lagona ma malamalama i lo latou māfuaaga. Afai na e faia se mea sese i le mafuaaga o le ita, o le a faasaʻoina oe e le tamaititi.
I se tasi aso sa matou taaalo ai ma lau fanau i se taaloga laupapa. Na leiloa ma tagi Grisha.
“Sa e le fiafia ona ua e faia’ina,” o la’u tala lea.
— Not. When I lost, Pasha laughed at me.
— You were upset because Pasha laughed after you lost.
You kind of tell the child, “This is what happened to you. I understand you».
2. Faamatala i lau tama pe aisea ua e faia ai lenei mea.
“Ua e ita ona ua le mafai ona ou avatu ia te oe lou ofu e sili ona e fiafia i ai. Ou te fia avatu ia te oe, ae o loʻo i totonu o le taele, e leai soʻu taimi e fufulu ai. E tatau ona tatou asiasi nei.
— You are offended because I ask you to leave the site. But we have an appointment with a doctor.
3. Fautua se fofo o le faafitauli mo le lumanaʻi poʻo le faia o se fofo ma lau tama
Matou te o mai i le malae ta'alo taeao ma e te ta'alo ai.
O le a matou fufuluina lou ofu ma e mafai ona e ofuina pe a mago.
4. Tuu atu i lau tama se taimi e talia ai le tulaga, ia oo i le faanoanoa, lafoai le ita
Fa'aalofa filemu, nofo fa'atasi ma ia i ona lagona. Aveese le tiga ma lau tama.
5. A'oa'o lau tama e talanoa e uiga i ona aafiaga
This will help a personal example — talk about your feelings. For example: «I’m happy for you» (when the child got a high mark in school). Or: «I get angry when you call names on your brother.»
O le ita o se lagona lavelave. Ae e matua mafai lava ona taulimaina. Ma i le taimi lava e tasi e aʻoaʻo le tamaititi ia malamalama, taʻu o latou aafiaga ma vaavaai mo se fofo i se tulaga faigata.