Natalie Portman: "Ou te masani i le faanoanoa Rusia"

Of course, you would never give her her thirty-five. Of course, she is very beautiful, and pregnancy does not distort her chiseled features. And, of course, she is the visible embodiment of success — here is the Oscar, and Dior advertising, and the famous choreographer-husband, and the lovely five-year-old son, and the directorial debut A Tale of Love and Darkness, approved in Cannes …

But from mentioning everything At the same time, a shadow of irritation that is not characteristic of him runs across the face of Natalie Portman. Because «look younger than your years» is an ageist compliment, everyone has the right to look their age, and no one has to strive to be younger; beauty is just winning the genetic lottery, there is no merit to it, and you should not judge another by his appearance; Harvard — “Yes, you know How long humiliation I experienced there because of my stupidity, How long I had to overcome in myself?”, And the husband and son … “This is love. And love is not an achievement or a reward.”

Well, except for an Oscar. she can be proud. But after all, only be proud, not boast …

We sit on the balcony of her hotel over the Venetian Lagoon — far from the island of Lido, where the film festival is in full swing, in the program of which there are two films with her participation. She’s only here for a couple of days, she’s expecting her second child, and now she wants to spend as much time as possible with her son before his brother or sister arrives. Work has now receded into the background for Portman, and she is philosophical — perhaps for the first time in her biography, the time has come when she can look at her life from the outside, outside the hustle and bustle and acting schedules. Here it becomes obvious that it is not in vain that Portman received a diploma in psychology — she easily generalizes her personal experience in a socio-psychological vein.

Natalie Portman: It’s funny how I’m being treated like a terribly fragile creature. And I’m just pregnant, not sick. I have a feeling that pregnancy in our world has lost its naturalness, has become some kind of special phenomenon that requires special treatment — everything is so focused on the conservation of the already existing one that the renewal looks like a wonderful exception.

Or, as my journalist friend says, when passengers applaud the pilot after boarding the plane: “But no one applauds me when I submit a 10-word article.” In the new circumstances, professionalism is becoming the norm, now it is permissible to be proud only of exceptional deeds, manifestations of almost heroism. And I, by the way, in this new world have ceased to be a pure vegan, I now have other priorities, it seems to me, higher: I need to be healthy and strong, I’m a mother. This is the main thing.

Did you enjoy being a mother?

NP: To be honest, everything is ambiguous. I don’t think «liked» is the right word here. Before the birth of Aleph, I was very worried — I could not imagine how I would combine work with a child with whom I so wanted to be there always, always … And somehow I asked Cate Blanchett — she is my oldest friend, I love her very much — how she succeed, she has four children. And she philosophically remarked: «Dance and you will learn to dance.» And I stopped worrying.

And when Aleph was born, yes, everything lined up by itself — he became a priority, I even abandoned the idea of ​​​​a XNUMX-hour babysitter — no one should stand between me and him … Motherhood for me is a unique combination of extremes — baby food and diapers with complete self-denial, anxiety, even horror with delight. You become more vulnerable and more sensitive — because now you have someone to protect. And stronger, more determined — because now you have someone to protect.

It’s funny, but now I look at a person and think that after all, someone is his mother, and it will hurt her if her child is treated harshly. And I soften even in the toughest situations. But the view of things is somewhat distorted. After two years in France — my husband had a contract there to direct the Opera de Paris ballet — we returned to Los Angeles. And you know, in comparison with Paris … Someone smiles at my child in a cafe, and I am delighted — what a wonderful person, friendly, open!

Or perhaps nothing of the sort. It’s just that in America it’s normal to smile at a baby, create an atmosphere of warmth and acceptance for him. In Paris, if you run around the playground with your child, they look askance at you — it’s not accepted … And in Los Angeles, everyone tries not to invade your personal space, no one seeks to teach you their good form. I felt this difference — from Paris to Los Angeles — precisely because I have a son.

It seemed to me that you were so disciplined and so often found yourself in a new environment for yourself that you should easily accept any norms … In the end, at the age of 12 you starred in Leon in a foreign country, then, having already become a recognized actress, you ended up in the role of a student, and even in the department of psychology, so far from the film industry …

NP: But new norms and rudeness are different from each other, aren’t they?

Coarseness?

NP: Well, yes, in Paris, if you do not obey the local behavioral norms, you can be quite harsh with you. There is… a sort of obsession with etiquette. Even a simple trip to the store can be stressful because of the «protocol» you have to follow. One of my Parisian friends kept teaching me «shopping etiquette»: you are looking for, for example, a thing of your size. But first, you must definitely tell the seller: “Bonjour!” Then you have to wait 2 seconds and ask your question.

If you went in, looked at the hangers and asked: “Do you have the 36th?”, you were rude, and you can be rude in return. They do not think about making the person next to you more comfortable. They think about the protocol. Perhaps in this way they are trying to preserve their culture. But it was hard for me. You see, in France I felt really tired of the rules. I have always been too disciplined. Now I am guided more by feeling. I want others around me to be comfortable, so that no one feels stressed, and I behave accordingly.

Does psychology education affect your behavior in any way? Do you think you understand people more than others?

NP: Oh, yes, you treat psychologists like gurus. But in vain. It seems to me that I am just a real psychologist — each person for me is not a book already written and published in a certain edition, which you just need to open and read, but a unique creation, a mystery that needs to be understood.

Are you a specialist in child psychology, does this help in relations with your son?

NP: We are all equal when we recognize our children. And everyone is helpless before a miracle — meeting this person, your child. You know, I’m pretty sure I’ll be a good grandmother. That’s when — with the experience of motherhood and knowledge of psychology — I will clear up. And now there is not enough distance between us — I belong too much to Aleph.

What exactly does it mean to you to belong to Israel?

NP: It’s… When I first encountered Buddhism, I was a bit confused. Buddhism is about appreciating what you have and where you are now. And I was like all of Judaism, which … Which is somehow inextricably linked with longing for what you do not have. In the homeland from which the Jews were expelled. And this very parting of ours “Next year in Jerusalem” is strange, as if Jerusalem still does not belong to the Jews.

The language itself speaks for us: Israel is built into our religion as something we don’t have. But we already have it, the homeland has been regained. And longing is still right there … And I have it — melancholy. Sometimes it shows through. Although… I also have Eastern European roots, and much in our family culture, and in my character – from there. Perhaps from Russia, where my great-grandmother comes from.