Mataupu
O le tatalaina o faaipoipoga e mafai ona suia tele i tatou, ma o le toatele, e tusa lava pe a mavae le tele o tausaga, e le mafai ona toe maua mai lenei faateia. O le mea lea, e taua tele le togafitia o oe lava ma le faʻaeteete i lenei vaitau. E ofoina atu e le au atamamai ni laasaga faigofie se lima e fesoasoani ia te oe e faʻafetaui i se olaga fou faigofie.
1. Faaavanoa se taimi mo aafiaga
Taking time for yourself is an important part of the process of adapting to free-floating. Even if you have children, taking care of them is no excuse for not having enough resources for yourself. “What looks like inactivity on the outside is actually an important inner work of self-healing,” says Natalya Artsybasheva, a Gestalt therapist. – It’s pointless to push yourself. It is important to peer into yourself, notice your needs and successes: “Oh, today I didn’t cry for the first time!” So you definitely will not miss the moment when sad experiences are replaced by new energy and a desire to live.
Afai o loʻo e lagona le faʻanoanoa i le taimi nei, e tatau ona e maua se taimi e talia ai ma faʻagasolo mea o loʻo tupu. Savalivali i le paka, fa'aalu le afiafi i se nofoa fa'ata'oto ma se ipu lauti, na'o oe ma ou mafaufauga, tusi i se api talaaga. E taua le le natia, ae ia ola i ou setete. Ma i le taimi lava e tasi, e tatau ona makaina tuaoi o lenei faagasologa: Ou te tuʻuina atu aʻu lava i lenei taimi mo aafiaga ma toe foʻi i aʻu masani masani. Ae o taeao o le a ou toe tuuina atu ai oʻu lagona i le taimi tatau ma le gauai.”
2. Laa i luma
E leai se aogā o le taumafai e faagalo lou olaga atoa ma se tasi sa lua mafutaga vavalalata. O le taumafai e tape ese le taimi ua tuanai mai le manatua ma le faʻatauaina o le a naʻo le iʻuga i le mea moni o le a atili ai ona faʻapologaina oe. E umi se taimi e alu ai i vaega uma o le faanoanoa. I le taimi lava e tasi, e taua le aua neʻi amata ona ola i le manatuaina o mea ua tuanaʻi. E faapefea ona e malamalama i le mea na tupu?
“In this case, the experience of loss becomes a “lifestyle” and begins to lead away from reality,” explains Natalya Artsybasheva. – For example, if the divorce happened a long time ago, and you still wear a wedding ring, keep the things of the former and try not to tell anyone about the breakup. Or if anger at your spouse goes beyond reasonable limits: you begin to actively hate all men, readily join discussions on this topic in social networks, find a company of like-minded people, and so on.
O lagona o le tausalaina e mafai ona taitai atu ai i le soona puipuia o fanau ina ia “taui” mo le afaina ua tuuaia na mafua ona o le tatala o faaipoipoga. O le tele o le ita e mafai ona avea ai oe ma se tagata ma'i e faavavau ma faitio, tulituliloa i se tagata muamua ma taufaamata'u masani.
3. Aua nei galo e uiga i gaoioiga faaletino
“The process of divorce and separation is often accompanied by emotional depression – we intuitively want to save energy. Nevertheless, it is important right now to include physical activity in your daily routine in order to help you take a sober look at what is happening, make informed decisions and, no matter how hard it is, begin to see the positive aspects of life again, says psychologist Alex Riddle. – It’s not about intense training or long-hour marathons, especially if you didn’t like sports before. Set yourself challenging tasks that bring you pleasure.
E oo lava i le afa itula o faamalositino i aso taitasi o le ai ai se aafiaga aoga i lou tulaga mafaufau. E mafai ona savali a o leʻi alu e moe, siva, yoga. O le mea autu o vasega e masani ma aumaia ia te oe le fiafia.
4. Ia faatulaga lelei mea i mataupu tau tupe
Afai o oe ma lau paaga sa masani ona fefaʻasoaaʻi se paketi ma ua masani i le talanoaina o tupe faʻaalu tetele, o mea moni fou o le olaga tau tupe e mafai ona faʻafefe. Ua lapataʻi mai Alex Riddle: “Afai e tele mea e maua e lau paaga, e mautinoa o le a e fesagaʻi ma le mea moni o le a lūlūina lou saogalemu faaletino. Seiloga e mafai ona e ausia le tulaga tutusa o tupe maua na o oe, e tatau ona e suia au masaniga ma le olaga. E le tatau ona avea le tatala o faaipoipoga ma mafuaaga e fai ai ni faaunegatupe, a le o lea e te ono oo ina sili atu lou faalagolago i mea tau tupe.”
5. Auai i fesootaiga
Ua maliu se tasi e pele ia te oe ma e tatau ona e toe faaleleia. “Ioe, e tāua tele le tuu atu o se taimi e te nofo toatasi ai ma ou faalogona,” o le tala lea a Natalya Artsybasheva. “Ae oi tatou o tagata lautele, ma o le nofo toatasi e leaga mo i tatou. Atonu e vave tele ona amata ni mafutaga vavalalata fou, ae e mafai ona e maua le lagona o le "lau ato" i luga o le savaliga sopo, ma vasega siva, ma galuega volenitia, ma le tele o isi nofoaga. O le mea autu e le o le faʻaesea, ae ia tausia se paleni maloloina. ”