We all have a general idea of who people who are psychologically healthy are. They do not suffer from depression and anxiety, do not win back and do not break down on others, they are happy, satisfied with their lives. But how do they do it? And what can you do to get your health back?
Distinctive features of psychologically healthy people
1. They are able to consider two opposing points of view
Who is right: me or you? Is she good or bad? Did you like the movie — yes or no? Are you talented or inept? Our brain seeks to put everything on the shelves, to divide events, phenomena and the people around us into opposite categories. This shows up when it comes to how we think about ourselves and our childhood and how we judge the people around us.
It is not only about the ability to see, in addition to black and white, also shades of gray. A person who is psychologically healthy is able to say to an opponent during an argument: “We are both right, and we are both wrong.” He can admit in any situation that “this is both wonderful and terrible”, or “this person wants good, but can potentially cause harm”, or “I love you and hate you at the same time”, or “my parents gave me a lot, but at the same time, I was treated horribly.” And all this will be true.
Opposites are not as incompatible as most people think. And the one who can simultaneously consider two opposing points of view is able to look more objectively at himself, others and any situation than the one who divides everything into black and white.
2. They know how to control emotions during communication.
Emotion management is one thing, communication is another. Both skills are hard to master. The ability to take control of anger and pain in order to calmly explain to another how you feel, control anger and be able to state the problem in such a way that the interlocutor understands it. All this is indicative of mental health.
3. They know themselves well
Do you understand the reason for your reactions? Are you aware of how you feel and why? What are your strengths and weaknesses? What are your talents? What do you like? What do you need and what do you not want? The better we know ourselves, the more we are able to endure difficulties, the better we are able to forgive ourselves for mistakes and make the right decisions.
4. They are comfortable being themselves.
Such people are able to be themselves and be happy. Are you comfortable on your own, without entertainment? Are you able to be in the present without worrying about the past, the future, and without thinking about something or someone else? Can you just feel, accept your feelings and try to understand them?
5. They are willing to take risks.
Stepping out of your comfort zone requires willpower and resilience. Are you ready to take risks? Will you be able to cope with the consequences of a possible failure on your own? Do you know yourself well enough to decide what is worth the risk? Can you forgive yourself if you fail? Only a strong person is able to consciously take risks, and in case of failure, cope with the consequences and move on.
How to get mental health?
Did you read the description of the qualities and almost did not meet any matches? Don’t worry: few people have them all. But at least trying to develop them is already useful. Here are some tips on how you can do this.
1. Don’t try so hard to be right.
By stopping constantly proving yourself right, you will be able to look at things in a new way and see the big picture, and this is the most important part of wisdom. You will stop dividing everything into black and white, and this will allow you to look at yourself and others differently. The ability to see opposites will help you understand your own feelings, which are often opposed to each other, and better understand others.
2. Learn to practice mindfulness
Mindfulness is the ability to be fully in the present moment, turning all your attention inward, to what you are doing and feeling. This skill is key to understanding and accepting yourself. In addition, the practice of mindfulness brings great benefits for mental and physical health, which is confirmed by research.
3. Try to look at failure differently
Failure is a sign of courage. If you failed, then you took a risk and got out of your comfort zone. Failure, properly handled, can teach us a lot. As you get to know and accept yourself better, and develop mindfulness and empathy in communication, you will be more willing to take smart risks and learn important lessons from the results. Over time, this will help you gain experience and achieve successes that you could not even dream of.
About the Expert: Jonis Webb is a clinical psychologist.